How Being a Roxy Addict Can Ruin Your Life
When I was 24, my boyfriend introduced me to roxies. I was in graduate school so I was studying all the time and really stressed. One night when we were hanging out, he asked me if I wanted to try one. It wasn’t the first time I’d tried drugs. In high school, I was all about the hallucinogens: ecstasy and LSD, for the most part. In college, I drank heavily and did some coke. I’d even tried painkillers before- Vicodin or Percocet. However, I’d never had anything like roxies. He crushed up the little blue pill and gave me half to snort. Almost immediately, I felt light and happy. All my pain went away-physical and emotional. I wasn’t stressed about school anymore. I didn’t care about it, I didn’t care about anything. I felt free.
I started off just doing roxies on the weekends. I’d look forward to it all week long. On Fridays, I couldn’t wait to meet up with my boyfriend and get some of those little blue pills. I’d say to myself “Some people have a drink at the end of a long week, but I don’t really like alcohol, so this is what I do.” I was constantly chasing that feeling when I first used roxies; that high. I could never quite get there, even though I was doing more and more every time.
It wasn’t long until I wanted that relief during the week too. After I finished my studies, I’d snort roxies and just relax. No big deal. But my habit started to get expensive. I began to charge groceries and gas on credit cards so I could use all my cash for roxies. Each month, I’d just pay the minimum payment, so my debt began to grow.
I got frustrated when I couldn’t get as many pills as I wanted from my dealer. Each day I’d buy enough for the next couple, but I always ran out too soon. One day, my dealer asked if I wanted to go to a pill mill for him. These were basically shady doctors who would trade roxy prescriptions for cash. He said he’d pay for my first visit, pay for 100 roxies I was prescribed, and then I could keep going to the doctor on my own and keep all the roxies in the future. I ended up being prescribed 180 roxies on my first visit, so right off the bat I got to keep 80 pills for free.
I began doing roxies every day. I was no longer even getting high; I just needed the pills to feel normal. If I skipped a dose I’d get very very sick. I was going to the pill mill every month, and eventually was getting 210 pills a month. It didn’t matter; I would still run out before my next visit. I started going to multiple clinics.
Eventually, I lost everything to my roxy addiction. I was kicked out of school. When I couldn’t pay rent, I was evicted from my apartment. My credit cards got cancelled when I could no longer make a minimum payment. I ended up living in my car, waking up every morning wanting to die because of my withdrawal. One day while I was sweating and puking in a parking lot, a woman walked by. She looked at me with so much pity; I finally saw myself and what I was doing. I decided to get help.